Blah, blah, blah

I don't have any news yet. I'm just plugging along this week trying to get through this torturous 2ww. Today we're at 5dpt (5 days past transfer) and I'm refusing to google anything and trying really hard not to read too much into my body and things I'm feeling right now. I'm still on progesterone and estradiol so who knows if what I'm feeling is due to the meds or to something else. Only time will tell!

I'm trying to stay positive, stay faithful and just relax. Stress won't help anything, no matter what is or isn't going on with my body right now. I'm just so ready for this weekend to be here so that we can get some things done and gear up for the week ahead. I feel like my emotions are all over the place right now. Saturday through Monday I was really positive and hopeful, but yesterday evening I started thinking about how I would deal with everything if this cycle didn't work. Those are not fun thoughts and immediately I just prayed that God would remind me to leave this in His hands because it is completely out of my control. I can't do or say anything to change the outcome.

I'm having another blah day. Maybe it's because I don't feel so great today or maybe it's because I'm still having a hard time not thinking about what the outcome will be. After today we will have 5 days down and only 9 more to go in this 2ww. I hope I still have my sanity at the end of this.

The embryos are in the oven!!!

This, ladies and gentleman, is the picture of our two, precious embryos that were transferred into my uterus today!!! Aren't they cute? :-) Embryo #3 is at the blastocyst stage (the stage right before they break through their shell and get ready to implant). Embryo #2 is just a little behind, it's at the morula stage (the stage they usually reach at day 4). What an incredible day this has been. It's taken awhile for it all to soak in that I actually have two embryos floating around in me right now. Words can't even describe today.

This has been such a long, hard road, but Chris and I are so blessed to have pictures of our precious embryos and to have had the opportunity to watch as they were carefully placed inside my uterus. We will remember this day forever. God has given us two precious embryos and they're in His hands. I sure hope He gently guides them to implantation over the next couple of days.

Now we begin the dreaded TWW (two week wait). I sure hope this time flies by! I'm struggling with wanting to stay positive and also wanting to stay realistic. Part of me just really wants to relish these next two weeks and live in the moment. We are so blessed to have made it this far in our journey and if we do end up pregnant I don't want to have missed out on these first couple of weeks. I really wish we had an ultrasound machine here at the house so I could see what they're doing right now. I wonder if they float around together or if they seperate and go on their own journeys in search of the lining of my uterus?

I want to sincerely thank everyone again for all the well wishes and prayers! I can't even tell you how comforting it has been to have all the sweet blog comments, texts, emails and phone calls over this past week. You have all been such a great support system and we just can't thank you enough! Please keep us in your prayers over these next couple of weeks. Please pray that both embryos continue to develop and implant over the next couple of days. Please pray that if that happens this will be a viable, healthy pregnancy.

Snuggle in little embryos, I promise to give you a nice, warm home!

Hurry Up Friday!!!

We found out from Dr. G's office this morning that our embryo transfer is still scheduled for this Friday at 12:00. I'm so excited and nervous. The embryologist told the nurse that they're all still dividing and progressing as they should be. Chris and I were both so relieved to know that our 6 little miracles are still plugging along in the lab. Grow little embies grow!!

I can't even tell you how worried we've been about them since Monday night. Last night was pure torture. We won't get another update until Friday when we get to the IVF lab so needless to say it's going to be torture for today and tomorrow too. Chris and I both woke up around 3:00 this morning and couldn't go back to sleep for awhile because we were so worried and nervous about how our little miracles were doing. I don't think I'm getting any better at this waiting game!

I told Chris last night that I think it is highly unfair that I look like I'm pregnant (still bloated from the shots and the egg retrieval) and I've felt like I'm pregnant the last few days too, but I'm NOT pregnant yet. I make frequent visits to the bathroom, I've felt these pains in my stomach the last two days and I've been a little nauseous. (I've had a few other side effects as well but since my brother-in-laws read this blog I won't go into anymore details!) :-) All of these are side effects of the Prometrium (a form of progesterone) that I have to take twice a day. I sure hope my body gets used to this medicine soon. I won't be able to stop taking it any time soon. As long as it's doing what it's supposed to, though, it is worth it.

I'll update again on Friday after our retrieval. Please continue to pray for our 6 little embies. I really hope they all make it to Friday so that we can use 2 and freeze the other 4!

This is going to be a looong week

I finally got a call from Dr. G's office this afternoon with our fertilization report. I called after 11:00 AM this morning as directed and had to leave a message for someone to call me back. When the IVF coordinator finally called me back this afternoon she had the nerve to ask me, "Did you forget to call this morning like you were told?" I promptly said, "No, I called at 11:05 AM this morning and had to leave a message. No one ever returned my call." Whatever, she has been on my list since she caused some major stress for us at the end of last week that turned out to be a big mistake on her part and totally unneccesary.

On to the news, though. Out of the 17 eggs they took from me yesterday 14 were mature and 6 actually fertilized. Yay!!! I can't believe we have 6 little embryos growing in the lab right now. 6 little Chris and Courtneys. It's still sinking in with both of us. Life has been created and I so badly want to see a picture of them and see how they're doing. I want to hold them in their little petri dishes and talk to them. I know they're still at the early embryo stage and need to keep dividing properly over the next several days, but to us they're still our little miracles, our little babies.

I have to call Dr. G's office again on Wednesday morning to get a report on how they're doing. If they're still doing well we will go in late Friday morning for a 5 day transfer. Right now the plan is to transfer 2. If the embryologist feels it would be better not to wait that long then I'll have the transfer Wednesday afternoon. This is going to be such a long week as we wait for the progress reports of our embies.

Thank you, God, for our 6 little miracles. Please keep them safe and strong in their temporary home this week.

Egg Retrieval

We had our egg retrieval this morning. The pic above is of Chris and I donning the lovely, sterile, procedure outfits! Sorry for the quality but this was taken with a shaky hand using Chris' phone. This was probably taken about 10 minutes or so before we went into the procedure room. Thankfully, everything went really well this morning. I didn't have any reactions to the anesthesia and the last thing I remember saying was that the "cocktail" they gave me really worked fast! Apparently, they had to up my dose a few times throughout the procedure. I didn't wake up and I don't remember feeling anything but Chris said I really squirmed a couple of times during the egg aspiration and so the doctor told the nurse to turn up the dose a little each time. I'm just glad I was asleep and didn't realize it at the time. I sure did feel the effects afterwards, though. My ovaries have not been very happy with me today. Too much poking and prodding this morning! Thank goodness for Extra Strength Tylenol and heating pads!!

While I was still waking up from the anesthesia, Dr. G came in to tell Chris that they retrieved 17 eggs from me and that Chris' portion went really well too! Thank you God!!!!

The embryologist on staff today even stopped by for a bit to give us a big thumbs up before we left! I'm just so relieved to know that today is over and that our future children are potentially being created in their little petri dishes right now!

I have to call Dr. G's office tomorrow for a fertilization report. I know to expect that not all 17 eggs will fertilize. I just hope we are still left with a good number of embryos and that they keep growing and developing this week like they need to.

Thank you to everyone for all the love and prayers! We really felt them today. I'll update again tomorrow once we get the fertility report.

Here are a few more silly pics from today:

This is me waiting for the nurse to come back in and start my IV.

My Fertility Socks!

Chris and his scrub-clad GQ pose!

Sunday it is!!!

My appointment with Dr. G went well this morning. My twelve largest follies were between 17-20mm today and he said we are on schedule to have my egg retrieval on Sunday!!! I'm both excited and nervous. I just want to know that the embryologist will have a great number of mature eggs and little swimmers to work with on Sunday, and that my eggs will fertilize, and that we end up with a good number of excellent quality embryos...is that too much to ask??? :-)

Chris just gave me my last injection. Yay!! This was my trigger shot which helps my follies to mature and to get my body ready to ovulate. I sure hope that they are in tip top shape by Sunday morning. We found out from Dr. G today that Chris will be allowed to accompany me to the procedure room and watch them retrieve my eggs. I will be under anesthesia but I'm glad that he will be there with me, even though I won't know it at the time. I'm so glad that he will get to experience that with me.

I just can't wait to know that we have embryos growing. This will be the closest we have ever been to having a baby. I wish I could stand guard in the embryology lab next week and keep our embryos company. I wish I could talk to them in their little petri dishes and tell them encouraging things to help them divide and develop properly. I know I probably sound like a crazy, hormonal woman. Please don't send the men in the white coats after me! :-)

Please keep us in your prayers on Sunday. We are putting this in God's hands and we know that He has a great plan for us. We just hope that His plan includes us getting pregnant this cycle! I will try to update Sunday evening or Monday morning, depending on how I'm feeling. I have taken Monday off since I won't know how I'll be feeling and if we don't get a good fertilization report on Monday I would rather be at home instead of at work.

Thanks for all the love and support you have all shown us!

They're growing!

Today's appointment with Dr. G was much better. My follies have actually grown another 2-4 mm since Monday's appointment and Dr. G said that if they continue to grow at this rate we will have the egg retrieval on Sunday. As Chris mentioned, we won't be able to make church on Sunday but we'll definitely be doing LOTS of praying that morning!!

Our next appointment is on Friday morning and if everything goes well I should take the trigger shot that night. I just want the next two days to hurry up so that we can get to Saturday and just relax and try to destress as much as possible before the procedure on Sunday.

Thank you to all of you who have been thinking of us and praying for us this week! We truly appreciate it!