The double dose of progesterone has definitely begun to take its toll. Last time I was only on 100mg three times a day and this cycle Dr. G upped my dose to 200mg three times a day, plus the estrogen (same dose as last time). I feel like the hormones have officially taken over. I am no longer in control of my thoughts or emotions, so watch out! I started my day off today by looking at some photos on Facebook that really hurt my feelings so I spent the next 10 minutes sitting in an empty office with my tissues just waiting for the onslaught of tears to stop. I would have gotten my feelings hurt anyway, but the hormonal imbalance just escalated things. I emailed Chris to tell him what happened and when he called to check on me the tears started again as soon as I heard his voice ask me, "Are you ok?" Ugh. Thankfully Chris came and picked me up for lunch. It was nice to get out of the office for an hour and get some fresh air.
I am feeling so isolated today. I feel like no one in real life really gets me and understands what I'm going through. I feel like people who I thought were my friends have just totally bailed on me. Has infertility done this to me, have I done it to myself or am I just plain crazy right now because of the extra 600mg of progesterone that's pumping through my body everyday??? I hate not being in control of my emotions. I sure hope that there's a bright light shining at the end of this tunnel. I hope that all this emotional turmoil is worth it.
I do have to say, though, that I am so grateful to have such a supportive husband. Chris doesn't always know the right thing to say to me (if you know us in real life I'm sure you're getting a good laugh out of that statement), but he can always make me laugh. Sometimes I feel like it is just the two of us against the rest of the world.
Here's hoping for a restful and relaxing weekend! Thanks for letting me vent. It's a necessary part of this whole process. :-)
You're not alone, sweetie. I've been there - I am there. Vent when you need to, cry when you need to, and curl up with your hubby while he is making you laugh. God is good and there is a light at the end of the tunnel - follow Him and he will lead you there. xoxo
ReplyDeleteDarn, that progesterone! I hope you get to feeling better. Make sure DH takes good care of you and cry when you need to.
ReplyDeleteUgh- the hormones do suck. Hang in there- the light at the end of the tunnel is almost here! Take it one day at a time and remember that this too shall pass and one day you'll be done with the extra progesterone. (But hopefully not for a while!)
ReplyDeleteHate that feeling of knowing you're just a cannon of emotions set to explode without any notice. Sorry :( Hopefully it will all be worth it!
ReplyDeleteWho hurt your feelings....I'll go beat 'em up for you.
ReplyDeleteCourtney-
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry sweet friend! We have been praying for you and Chris daily. It will be worth it and hopefully like you said you will get the great news soon! We love you guys!
Lindsay
I'm sorry I have not been able to be around over the last week. I have been praying for you much, though!!
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry that you're having such a rough time. I struggle with the regular progesterone; I can't imagine double the dose. I wish I could come give you a big hug, or at least join Heather in beating up whoever hurt your feelings. I'm glad that Chris was able to take you to lunch and make it a little bit better.
Hang in there, my friend! I hope Chris took great care of you this weekend, and that you are feeling better today. Thinking of you ~
I'm thinking of you and praying you have wonderful news to share very soon. :) :) :)
ReplyDelete