Meltdown #2...only a mini one, though

I'm having deja vu today. About 5 weeks ago I had my first IVF meltdown and it was on a Monday morning. Today I had my second one, but thankfully it was minor compared to the first one. I didn't have to take a personal day today. I went in for my monitoring appointment this morning. Dr. G did an ultrasound to see if my follicles had made any progress over the weekend and surprise, surprise on average they had only grown about 4 mm since my appointment on Friday. They are now measuring at 10-13 mm (I think 1 or 2 were at 14 mm) and I really should have been closer to these numbers on Friday. My estrogen level was fine on Friday but for some reason they can't seem to light a big enough fire under my ovaries to make the follicles grow. Dr. G said that it would be a sprint for the follicles to grow enough by Friday so now we're looking at possibly having our egg retrieval on Saturday or Sunday. But still, no guarantees.

I was obviously discouraged by my appointment this morning and unfortunately no one in his office is the warm fuzzy type so I didn't get any words of encouragement from the nurses. It's just a wait and see game. Sounds like fun, huh? After the u/s, I had to go downstairs for my blood work. Not only did I have to wait forever for them to get to me but I also had to sit in a room full of cute, little pregnant women. To make matters worse one of the pregnant women was having a really loud conversation on her cell phone with someone who is apparently throwing her a baby shower. She proceeded to yell at this person about how she didn't like anything they were doing, including the invitations and that if they didn't get it right it would make her cry. Let me just tell you how much sympathy I had for her. NONE!!! I really wanted to go over there and slap her and say, "Do you have any idea what I'm going through just to GET pregnant? You should be grateful just to be pregnant you selfish, little brat!!" But I didn't. My mom would be so proud of me!

I will get another phone call from the nurse this afternoon to let me know if they're increasing my dosage. I think it's a pretty safe bet that they will, it's just a matter of how much.

I was so upset when I got to the office this morning but I was trying really hard to not let it show. That held up for about 10 seconds. As I walked in the door my good friend, Kim, asked how it went this morning. Yep, that's all it took. I lost it. So, she decided that I needed to get out of the office and that we were going to run over to Jamba Juice and get a smoothie. For those of you who don't know me that well, Jamba Juice is one of my favorite treats. So, I am so thankful for Kim and her kindness. She knew that I needed to get some air and just breathe for a bit before I came back into the office. Thank you, God, for my wonderful family and friends. I couldn't get through this without them.